I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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