I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
