Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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