I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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