Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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