It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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