Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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