1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
