so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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