just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
