how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
