eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Your penis caused this!
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