for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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