I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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