He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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