he shaved USA in his pubs
I checked into jail on foursquare
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
