Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize