Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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