remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
