margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
