HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cut my penus on the lid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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