well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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