READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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