Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
