why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you never un-have a 4some
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
