i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
