I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
