fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
