You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Soap is not a condiment
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
