My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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