Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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