I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
