We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
