WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
