Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
