in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
this boner is exhausting
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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