the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
