I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
