Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Holy shit dude........stairs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
