Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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