So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
