hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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