That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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