Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize