im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
