jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
