hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
