i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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