You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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