i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
