you guys were way drunker than both of me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
