i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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