Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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