I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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