They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
