if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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