i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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