their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
