i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
