Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
