I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize